Media training tips: the jargonator

We are proud to present an exclusive interview with Buzz Word, the UK’s leading purveyor of business jargon and cliché.
MTA: Is being a cliché expert a full-time job?
Buzz: Bottom line is I have a full plate regarding this, 24/7.
 MTA: Is it hard to keep up with the seemingly endless supply of clichés that spew from business?
Buzz: There’s been a real paradigm shift on this, quantity-wise. Some days, I just don’t have the bandwidth – it’s a big ask, harder than nailing jelly to a wall.
MTA: Where do most clichés come from?
Buzz: Stakeholders push the envelope until it’s outside the box.
 MTA: How do people know you’re a cliché expert?
Buzz: I’m pro-active, I walk the walk and talk the talk.
 MTA: Did incomprehensibility come naturally to you?
Buzz: I wasn’t wired that way, but it became mission-critical as going forward I had to tighten my strategic focus. When you drill down to the granular level, it’s not rocket science.
 MTA: How do you stay ahead of others in the buzzword industry?
Buzz: Net-net, my value proposition is based on maximizing synergies and being first to market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable. That’s the opportunity space on a level playing field. At the end of the day, it’s all about robust, world-class language solutions. What’s great is that I have a scalable supply chain.
MTA: Why can’t you just speak in the vernacular?
Buzz: What’s that?

Adapted, from an original by anon

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